Friday, April 5, 2013

A Matter of Time, and Some Hard Work

Last week I reflected on the joy of being able to look out from the top of a climb – a hill in this case, potentially a mountain top one day – and to appreciate the steps it took to get there. I was thinking rather abstractly at the time, in addition to the physical accomplishment which is quite real for me as I grunt up the hill. The metaphor was certainly a precursor for this week. Getting through this week has been in essence, a climb, the most difficult in months. They have encompassed family relationships, work details, mental stamina, and physical fortitude. I must admit, I’m looking back at this climb represented by this week's challenges, and am feeling a bit empowered for not giving up on myself.  I did not turn to food or cigarettes; I did not attempt to go numb or medicate.  Donned with big girl panties, I fought hard to retain and, at times regain, being a functioning adult (we won’t go so far as to proclaim fully functioning, but that of course is the goal). I am not a mess, although a little worn for the work. In fact, I am experiencing a renewed sense of capability. The Healing Lane has been very good to me this week!

Today, I see that I am learning to draw upon my own strength, which is something I haven’t done regularly for a long time, if ever. I seek out wisdom, experience, strength, and hope from others and welcome feedback and insight from those in recovery. It is valuable, crucial actually, to have this kind of support. I am all about relationships and the richness of having the kind of friendships that allow for open and honest communication. They sustain me, enriching my life in tremendous ways. Today I realize that I can counsel myself and approve myself, too! What an adult concept! Wow, is this what we call progress?!

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